[FICTION]

She just looked at him, expressionless, and said "I need to know if you're having an affair." He had three immediate and unhelpful thoughts.

First, vanity: "It's exciting that she's living in a world where I could possibly have an affair. I've still got it!"

Second, concern: "What could make her think that I'm having an affair? Has she lost her mind?"

Third, worry: "Wait, have I done anything that could be considered as a affair? Am I forgetting something? At that bachelor party, a couple of the strippers got surprisingly handsy, but that was years ago and I don't think you could really call that an 'affair'."